Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
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I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
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It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize