someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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