So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
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Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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