After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
where does the pee come out of this thing
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize