Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My bed smells like the plague
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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