it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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