Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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