Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize