And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We're too hungover to prance.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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