Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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