It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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