You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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