Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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