eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize