I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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