I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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