Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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