If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize