you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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