i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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