$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize