just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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