If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize