So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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