we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
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i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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