im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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