He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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