Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
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Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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