I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize