Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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