Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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