McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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