I hate your face
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize