I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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