Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
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Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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