so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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