My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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