This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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