I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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