in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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