Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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