i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize