White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
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I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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