My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize