She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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