Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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