sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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