I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize