We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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