:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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